Are you a flirt?
If not, you should be!
Flirting is a casual, non-committal way of meeting new people and showing someone that you are interested in getting to know them better. Without being overt or outrageous, master your flirting techniques with these seven simple steps:
1. Choose Your Target Wisely
The guy or girl waiting to be seated at the restaurant looks interested… yes, they are definitely checking you out. But there is a wedding band on that hand, so forget about it! Flirting only works (well, it should only work) on people who are single and interested in meeting new people. Dont take it personally if you get brushed off. Their mind could be a million miles away and timing is everything. Dust yourself off and try again!
2. Make the First Move
Physically move closer to the person without invading their personal space and say hello! Cheesy pick-up lines and witty comments are not necessary. Simply say hi and gauge the response you get. Hint: this direct approach is far more successful in neutral places like the grocery store, the coffee line or the bookstore as opposed to the bars and nightclubs.
3. Be Confident
Even if the prospect of approaching a complete stranger to introduce yourself sends shivers of fear up your spine, hold your head high and disguise those knocking knees. You are an interesting person with plenty to offer a potential love interest… remember that! Also remember that not everyone is looking for a person just like you, so if they do not appear interested be thankful that you can now cross them off your list, stop wondering what might have been and move on.
4. Dont Forget Your Props
Props are interesting articles you carry with you. They are natural conversation starters and tell people a bit about your personality. It could be a fun piece of jewelry, a quirky hat, your favorite book… anything that sets you aside from the others. Look for props on others, as well. That woman walking the cute dog is really carrying an open invitation to approach her and discuss her favorite little pooch!
5. Start a Conversation
Once you have said hello, introduce yourself and start a conversation. There is always something to talk about… the long lineup you are both standing in, the cool mural on the store window across the street, the bakery downtown that sells the best croissants. Your first few attempts at starting a conversation with a stranger might be rambling, bumbling failures… and thats okay! To practice, go outside of your own neighbourhood, where you are unlikely to run into these same people again. If your conversation doesn’t work out, say “Nice to meet you” and move on. Never apologize or appear frustrated… coolly walk away.
6. Smile and Make Eye Contact
Your attempt at flirting is sure to flop if you are staring at your shoes and mumbling the entire time. Show off your personality and your friendly nature by being open and warm with your flirting partner. Avoid staring, but make eye contact for 2 to 4 seconds at a time, then glance away. Focus your attention on them when they are speaking and smile and nod to show that you are actively listening. Be a good conversation partner.
7. Be Complimentary
Say something nice! Everyone loves to hear something nice about themselves. Be careful with this one though; “nice shoes”, or “I like your hair” aren’t really the type of heartfelt, genuine compliments that you should be searching for. Try, “Wow, thats a great book! You must be an avid reader” – implying that they must be intelligent. Or, “What a fun necklace! Where in the world did you find that?” These compliments serve two purposes… they say something nice about the person you are flirting with and leave an open-ended question to draw them into a conversation. They are also more personal than some generic nonsense about the stars in their eyes or that their hair looks like gold.
Flirting takes practice, but it is fun learning to do it properly. Dont pressure yourself into thinking that every time you flirt with someone, it has to lead to a date or you have failed. Simply learn to use this technique to meet as many new people as you can and one day, you will find that interested person who willingly and enthusiastically flirts back!
Lee Blackspur is the author of Bulletproof Self Confidence as well as the owner of the popular dating website My-Dating-Advice.com where you can find hundreds of free articles covering many different aspects of dating and relationships.
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